You Always Find What Your Looking For

Personally I have a list of problems to solve and by doing so will make my life tremendously better. Some like to call it a goal, mission, purpose or whatever narration one uses that best describes it but to my understanding it's finding solutions to problems that work best. In any case a requisite in solving my problems is believing that not only is my problem solvable but I can solve it. Author Hal Elrod calls it an unwavering faith in our ability to bring to a successful conclusion whatever challenge that besets us; in a phrase, our self efficacy.

Our self efficacy determines our outlook and course of action. Simply wishing things were better is a waste of energy and gets us no further in our journey but neither is imagining that everything is unicorns and rainbows. Sometimes things are not as we would want them be and the best approach is to accept things for what they are and proceed to solve the problem with unwavering faith in our ability to solve it and in the outcome.  The late Zig Ziglar said "you've got to be before you can do and you've got to do before you can have".

 

 

I was scrolling through Pintrest and I came across a post entitled "Habits to Help You Prosper". I couldn't help but bridle at reading the suggestions because the list was so pedestrian that it was on the brink of being dangerously misleading. It helped me to remember that although the internet can contain articles which are helpful and authoritative (check the sources) writers need no credentials, training or particular knowledge to publish articles that can be regarded as forgettable drivel. Even untrue.

There is no "secret" to success and a good habit is helpful if it displaces a harmful one. For example: "wake up early" is on the list. If I decided waking up early is a habit I want to acquire, what will I do with the extra time? If I watch TV or Tik Tok videos then waking up early is rather pointless and I'll again fall into my old habit of sleeping late. I would need a compelling reason for waking early and it needs to be something I work on everyday. That's the basic formula behind goal setting or problem solving; identify the goal or problem, develop a plan or solution and work on it everyday. 

A Black Swan Event

A black swan event is something that comes along rarely during a lifetime and changes things permanently, never going back to the way it was. There are at least two ways people respond to a black swan event: one way is to cling to the hope that things will be the way they used to be and get back to "normal". 

The other response is from those who realistically acknowledge the change for what it is and proceed in life knowing things will quite probably never again be the way they once were. They actually embrace the change and find new ways of pivoting their lives, businesses and relations in response to the change.

In the wisdom of modern psychology there is a school of thought that is strongly related to our response to things that happen to us either as individuals or collectively.  Acceptance and Commitment Therapy teaches us, using mindfulness, that we can accept events or thoughts for their face value, acknowledge their reality and proceed according to our values. By doing so we progress and embrace negativity in spite of our feelings and counter them with positive actions and results.

During this covid19 event are we holding out for a vaccine? Are we looking forward to the virus being eliminated as a threat? Are we expecting things to return to "normal" again or are we coming to terms with the possibility that even if things get back to normal it could be longer than we expect; maybe years, and responding accordingly? Maybe things will never be the way they were and resilient people will fair better rather than only waiting for better times.