Drag me to Hell

 I've come to the unfortunate conclusion that more often than not, people would prefer to make others as unhappy as themself. Misery loves company but it seems that instead of people simply going out and finding others just as miserable as themselves, they would prefer to make the person they are with just as sorrowful. This has very often happened to me.

• Me: "I love Halloween."
• Other: "Halloween is satanic and all that candy isn't good for you."

Writing is another thing I like to do, and I'm often seen jotting things down in a notebook I carry with me. "Why do you have to write everything down?" I've been told. "Be like me and just keep it in your head."

Of course, I also draw, and it's common for me to be callously chastised for doing so. Here are a few remarks I've heard over the years:

• "You shouldn't be drawing. You need to focus on your work, instead!"
• "Drawing while someone is talking means you're not paying attention."
• "Quit drawing and get a real job."
• "Everything you do has drawings all over it."

I've often been derided for various other things like:

• Reading in general
• What I read
• Wanting to be alone
• Not talking
• The way I talk
• The way I open the curtains
• The way I work
• The way I walk

Sometimes people tell me that I shouldn't be so happy and remind me why. 

• "You may feel good now but wait till you get to be my age."
• "This month may be good but what about next month?"
• "You may really like apple cider, but all that sugar is going to make you fat."

I know I'm not the only one who goes through this, and I've even discovered it's a condition related to psychological concepts with real names. 

Misery loves company

There is no explicit technical term for this malady, but this common saying is often used to describe someone who attempts to drag others down into their own unhappiness. Psychologically it can stem from insecurity, jealousy, or a desire for validation. When a person is miserable, they feel less alone or threatened when those around them also feel bad.

Schadenfreude

This impossible-to-pronounce German word means taking pleasure in the misfortune of others. If a person's goal is to actively inflict unhappiness on others simply for their own satisfaction, they are experiencing schadenfreude. It's a key part of toxic and sadistic behavior.

Crab Mentality

This phrase or metaphor describes a way of thinking best described as "If I can't have it neither can you." The name comes from the observation that if you put crabs in a bucket they will easily escape, but any crab that attempts climb out is pulled back down by the others. A person with this mindset will sabotage your happiness or success so you don't see above their own level.

My Own,
Little Ole' Me, Viewpoint

I think the most common reason people are habitually cynical is because of pride. People want to be seen as intelligent, wise, and worldly. Even successful and happier people can be found to be negative toward others because they want to be seen as the person who has the answer. It's the, if it worked this way for me, then it'll work that way for everybody, condition. It's the person who gives unsolicited advice just to be lofty in other's minds.

The best way I found to deal with them is to just let it be, don't argue with them and possibly even confirm it in their own mind, much like in the spirit of Dale Carnegie. But sometimes I'll just tell the other person to "Shut-up!"

Mindset Again?

Master of Mediocrity

 

An opiate is defined as a substance derived from or related to opium which is used in drugs such as heroine, morphine and hydrocodone among others and is also addictive. It increases endorphins and relieves pain. 

An opiate can also be used to described something, like a condition, activity or a mindset that dulls the senses and accommodates one's sense of comfort and wellbeing. Although no actual drugs are involved in such a situation, endorphins are released in the brain to give a person a good feeling, for a little while. 

       What is the meaning behind 

"Modesty is the opiate of the mediocre"? 

One who is modest is someone who avoids praise, (especially self-praise) and is embarrassed at receiving compliments. A modest person avoids attention but, in my case, being one who depends on bringing attention to himself for the sake of financial viability, modesty is something I should avoid at all costs. In fact, it is critical that I should talk more of what I do and present myself as an authority in my field of endeavor. 

However, the pleasure I get from fading into the wallpaper in the back of the room to avoid all human interaction is, in my case, as detrimental to my career as being an addict.

Nobody likes being uncomfortable but sometimes one's survival depends on being so by doing things against one's nature like the self-promotion I mentioned earlier. Otherwise, in my case, I'm just a person with a hidden talent who is destined to die impoverished and unknown.

For a prints, click here 

https://www.redbubble.com/i/poster/Modesty-is-the-Opiate-of-the-Medicre-by-TeeCeeCo/174546745.LVTDI

The Conversion of Bob

 Those who preach the gospel of success often claim that once a person's mind is made up to succeed, then the universe begins to cooperate and clears the path of all obstacles and paves the way. But is this true and accurate?

On One Hand

If things don't respond in the way as described above, is it because the statement isn't true or is it because the person in question hasn't sincerely made up his mind to succeed? 

Success starts out as a mindset. If not, then the first hardship one encounters forces him to throw up his hands and say something like, "I'm cursed! Success isn't for me!"

The impediments to one's success may never actually vanish, as suggested by some gurus of prosperity, but because of one's successful mindset, the obstacles seem easier to negotiate, or maybe one is more willing to encounter them. The willingness someone has of working through barriers has much to do with his perception of them. 

How I respond to difficulties is a test of my conversion. 

But on the Other Hand

There is the notion that a real dream should come to you, and you don't have to chase it. Wow! That is rife with interpretations! The converse of that philosophy is that everything, especially things worthwhile, takes work, hard work, and sometimes at great sacrifice. It is also a grand fact that mistakes and failures are a big part of it. Like the late, great Tom Petty sang: 

"I'm running down a dream. It never would come to me."

There seems to be a tendency, especially among young Americans, that we are entitled to the fulfilment of our dreams and we deserve to have a fulfilling, satisfying and easy life when nothing can be further from the truth. When we see successful, wealthy people, doctors, engineers, attorneys, businesspeople, writers, artists, there is the perception that it's always been so for them when actually, what is rarely publicized is the hardships they endured to reach that level. 

No one deserves anything. It must be earned. 

Rudderless

 I had a mentor a couple of years ago who was most helpful to my career as a leader, and he was a real example. He was my greatest supporter and was paving the way for successes I could only dream of. But then he died, suddenly, and since then things have been different. I seem to have lost my way and am wondering in the desert, maybe waiting on another mentor.

I've come to the conclusion that there will be no other mentor. If there is to be one sometime in my future, it will come not by my will nor at my convenience. The fact is, I've enough knowledge and material to be my own mentor. 

God bless my previous mentor, and I greatly benefitted from his priceless knowledge and experience but now, instead of lying around waiting for someone else, I alone need to continue to apply his methods, without him. It's something I've been reluctant to do, out of intimidation, learned helplessness, or whatever, I can't say for sure. 

To turn things around is my responsibility and no one else's, so it's time to get off my duff, cross the Jordan and take that promised land. 

Time Marches on

 I get discouraged, not just sometimes, but often, because aside from a few victories and minor successes in my past, I have never really had any real, lasting success, neither in a career nor in my personal life. Sometimes I think my melancholy reaches critical levels of sadness, especially when I regard myself as too far gone in life for things to change significantly. I ask myself, "has the opportunity passed me by?"

I seek success in more than one area. I look to find accomplishment as a cartoonist, which most people who know me are well acquainted with, but that's not all. I also seek to be a capable writer who is not necessarily a best seller, but someone who, as a result of his books, is an authority in my specific field of endeavor. Of course, having an income derived from book sales is also something I would never turn away.

But this all leads back to my original question; has the opportunity passed me by at this stage?

One of my favorite books I've read is Late Bloomers by Rich Karlgaard and he addresses this very question, and it truly gave me inspiration. Karlgaard addresses the general issue of people who find success later in life and he gives many examples but one area I specifically seek is writing and cartooning. So, I researched the question to and here is an answer:

Yes, many writers have found success in their 60s and beyond, including those who published their first work at that age. Rather than being a barrier, starting to write later in life offers a depth of experience and perspective that can make for richer, more authentic stories. 

Authors who found success in their 60s

• Frank McCourt (age 66)

After decades as a high school teacher, McCourt published his memoir Angela's Ashes at the age of 66. 

It became a surprise bestseller and spent over two years on the New York Times bestseller list.The book went on to win the Pulitzer Prize for Biography and the National Book Critics Circle Award. 

• Laura Ingalls Wilder (age 65)

The author of the beloved Little House on the Prairie series began writing her fictionalized memoirs in her 60s. 

The first book, Little House in the Big Woods, was published when she was 65, and the series became a lasting literary success. 

• Bonnie Garmus (age 65)

Her debut novel, Lessons in Chemistry, was a smash hit that became a bestseller and was adapted into a streaming series. Garmus published the book at 65 after it had been rejected 98 times. She has stated that age doesn't matter for writers because "no one really cares how old you are". 

• Delia Owens (late 60s)

The bestselling debut novel Where the Crawdads Sing was published when Owens was in her late 60s.The book was a massive commercial success and was later turned into a film. 

• J.R.R. Tolkien (age 62)

While Tolkien published The Hobbit at 45, his greatest commercial and critical success came with The Lord of the Rings trilogy. He published the first volume, The Fellowship of the Ring, at the age of 62. 

• Sam Savage (age 65)

After giving up on writing in his 50s, Savage returned to it and found success when his first book, Firmin: Adventures of a Metropolitan Lowlife, was published at 65. It sold one million copies, and he went on to publish four more books. 

• Mary Wesley (age 70)

After her husband's death, British novelist Mary Wesley began writing seriously in her later years. Her first adult novel was published when she was 70, and she became a bestselling author, selling millions of copies. 

• Donna Gordon (age 65)

Gordon's debut novel, What Ben Franklin Would Have Told Me, was published at the age of 65. The book received critical praise and was selected as a top read by the Independent Book Review. 

So yes, writers specifically have found success later in life, and in particular at my stage in life, and since my question has been answered as far as best sellers are concerned, I think I can safely presume that there are many, many lesser-known writers out there who have found their own degree of success. I wish to become one of them and since it's possible, (in fact the odds, I think, are better than just possible) I intend to be one of them.

However, does this lead to another of my issues? I may expound on it in another post but, for now, suffice it to say, I'm plagued with Learned Helplessness. Well, if nothing else, it may be another subject included somehow in a future book I author.

Stop Wishing

 Confession time.

There are a series of wishes and wants I am in the habit of thinking and expressing. 

• I wish I had a house.
• I wish I could afford a new car.
• I wish I had good credit.
• I want help with my light bill.
• I wish business was better
• I want to walk every day.

The list goes on, but it's my mindset; it's what I think about that becomes the reality in my life. A more accurate description may be, it's how I think about it that becomes the reality.

Even if I don't audibly say the words out loud, they come in other thought forms like when I drive through a nice neighborhood and admire the lovely homes and well-manicured lawns. It's when I see someone driving a nice, well-maintained, clean car. It's knowing there are people having a tasty meal with their family in a nice restaurant. 

There is no reason why I can't have those things, none what-so-ever. The verbiage I use is only a reflection of the way I think but I can't help believing that the words I say, out loud, or to myself, reenforces my thoughts, my belief system and my reality. 

Change my verbiage, to change my mind, to change my reality:

• I am working toward owning a home.
• I will have a new car.
• I will change my credit rating.
• I will pay my light bill in time and in full.
• Business will improve by my own efforts.
• I am walking two miles every morning. 

Wishing for things is nonsense. 

You'll Find it Here

 Welcome to Reelfoot Lake

There is a place in northwest Tennessee, just south of the Kentucky border, where I used to love going as a child. My father and I would stay in a rented cabin on Reelfoot Lake and it's some of my fondest childhood memories. There isn't any place in the world like it and the neighboring towns were tiny Tiptonville and Union City, no more than dots on any map.

Spenser's

Every year, on our drive up from Memphis, we'd stop at Spencer's Groceries, just inside Tiptonville, to get a few supplies, like food, drinks, or some worms, before we moved on to our cabin on the lake. Spencer's Groceries was a very small store, not much more than the old general stores one would see in TV westerns, and it only held the bare essentials; nothing fancy. 

Mr. Spencer was not just the owner, but he was also the only cashier, and he didn't even have a cash register. Instead, he used an adding machine, the kind with the mechanical handle he'd have to pull to get sub-totals and finally the total. 

Everyone's Favorite

Spencer's groceries was every local's favorite place to shop for groceries and even though Mr. Spencer was never what most would consider a huge success, he had a profitable business, everyone in Tiptonville shopped there, he served his customers well, and he was very happy with it. 

The Newcomers

Not only did all the locals shop there, but it was also the first place newcomers would go to for supplies or directions. There is a story that one day a stranger arrived at the store and walked up to Mr. Spencer, who was working on the books behind his adding machine.

"Excuse me sir, ", said the visitor, "but I just got transferred here and I'll be your new neighbor, and I was just wondering, what kind of people there are that live here."

Mr. Spencer looked up from his books, over his glasses and asked, "What kind of people were they where you come from?"

The gentleman said, "Oh, they were the friendliest people you'd ever want to know. They were a hardworking and thrifty bunch who'd give you the shirt of their back if you needed it."

"Well,", said Mr. Spencer, with a smile, "that'll be the kind of people you'll find here also."

The gentleman got his supplies and left.

On a different day, another gentleman came into the store while Mr. Spencer was pricing and stocking canned beans onto the shelf and the stranger approached him.

"Excuse me sir," the stranger said, "I was just transferred to Tiptonville, so I'll be living here. What kind of people would you say are here?"

"What kind of people were they where you're moving from?" asked Mr. Spencer.

"Oh, they were terrible. They were hard to get along with, always so rude and unwilling to help with anything." said the stranger. "They were unfriendly and never said hello and so lazy."

"Well," said Mr. Spencer, "I imagine that's the kind of people you'll find here in Tiptonville." 

The man left in a huff as Mr. Spencer finished his task and preceded towards his adding machine, to wait for the next customer.

The Plains, the Mountains and San Diego

 What's the opposite of success? 

Most people would say the opposite of success is failure, but consider this. Success isn't possible without failure as they are two sides of the same coin; book ends if you will, so even though success may be on the opposite end of the failure spectrum it isn't the opposite of the experience of success. The real opposite of true success is mediocrity.

Webster defines mediocrity:

"of only moderate quality; not very good"

Mediocrity is doing just enough to get by; adequate but nothing more. It's just enough to pay the bills and keep gas in the car and not much else.

South Dakota

I drove through South Dakota a long time ago and it was the flattest place I'd ever seen. I drove from one end of the state to the other and the only thing higher than the land around me was my car. I felt like if I stood on the eastern border of the state, I could look west and see the whole state, all the way to the western border, without interruption. 

Montana

But then, after driving for a few hours, I ended up in Montana which is the opposite of South Dakota with gigantic mountains that seemed to never end. The views were indescribable. I felt like I wouldn't have appreciated the magnificence of the mountains if I had not first been through the featureless plains of S. Dakota. 

Someone once said, a person can never know how beautiful it is on the mountain top unless they've been in the deepest valley. If there were no valleys, there would be no mountains. If there was no bad, there would be no good. If there were no failure, there would be no success. 

Go Ahead and Vomit

One more story. As a young recruit in San Diego, our drill instructors had us understand in their own colorful manners, that during the brutal training we were undergoing, we were going to pass out from exhaustion, vomit from the heat, pull muscles, get bruised, bloodied and blistered. 

"So what?", they said. "When you get through vomiting or when you regain consciousness, just pick up where you left off and finish." 

You can't have success without failure even if it means vomiting your guts out.

Joleen is Having a Bad Day

When I showed this particular gag to some people, they asked "who is she talking to?". 

Fair question, but my intention was to make it appear as if Joleen were talking to someone off-screen like a husband or a friend. 

Yes, I know before I put this to publication in another book, I should make modifications, but I think it brings to mind something totally unrelated to the joke itself. The fact is, most of the people who I showed it to, initially, knew that Joleen was talking to someone not pictured until I asked, "Does it look like she's talking to an invisible man?". 

"Oh, yeah, maybe, now that you mention it." some people answered.

Afterwards, I began formulating the theory that most people don't notice imperfections until someone points them out. I experience this many, many times in my profession. When I see the mistakes and faults and imperfections in things I draw (or anything else for that matter) others do not. So, I thank them for the compliments and move on to the next drawing, without bringing to their attention, the flaws. 

Garnish, Steak Dinners and Windows

 

Garnish doesn't make the steak taste better. 

What does that mean? I think to understand it better, it may help to define what garnish means.

Garnish: To decorate or embellish, especially related to food.

If a restaurant garnishes a steak dinner by putting a sprig of parsley on the plate, it's for appearances only and has nothing to do with the way the food tastes. The way the steak tastes has to do with the cut of meat, the way it was prepared, and how it was cooked, which has everything to do with the chef. 

But it looks so good

In the mind of the person eating the meal, the appearance of garnish next to the steak may give him the impression that it tastes better but even in that case, if the steak sucks, he will not likely order it again (or may never return to the restaurant) regardless of how green the sprig of parsley is sitting next to it. In fact, I've had steaks so tough and bland, I left most of the steak and ate the parsley instead.  

In my particular line of work, if I had pretty drawing paper and fancy pens, but wasn't skilled at drawing, I wouldn't be in business very long. As a window cleaner, I can have a nice uniform, new equipment and a fancy ladder, but if I don't get the windows clean, I'll not receive return calls or have any more customers. 

So, in conclusion, maybe it means to be wary of outward appearances. What does the work say?

Not Playing by the Same Rules

 

A lion, feeling majestic one hot afternoon, was sauntering through the jungle when he happened upon a hyena and the lion rumbled,

“Who’s the mightiest of the forest?”

“You are” said the hyena, meekly.

“Thats right”, declared the lion who walked away smugly.

He then approached a zebra, gazed at him and said again,

“Who’s the mightiest of the forest?”

The zebra fearfully said, “You are.”

“That’s right”, said the lion as he resumed his walk. He then saw a huge elephant feeding on the cool, tasty leaves located high in an Acacia tree and with self-assurance the lion said to him,

“Who’s the mightiest of the forest?”

At that the great elephant peered at him with his black eyes over his massive trunk, reached out, gripped the lion and pounded him on the ground with great force several times. He then held him down while he stomped him into the dirt repeatedly with his massive foot and finally the mastodon kicked him 20 feet into the rigid trunk of the Acacia tree where the lion fell to the ground, dazed.

Finally, after regaining his senses, the lion looked up through his battered face a said, wearily “he just doesn’t understand. He just doesn't understand.”

Get Off My Lawn!

I am more and more convinced, as I read (and as I age) online articles, blogs, social media posts or whatever you want to call them, that these lists and advice the so called authorities post, giving the reader the impression they are experts on certain subjects, are simply wannabes and blowhards trying to impress and get more clicks. For the most part, I must admit, they succeed in that respect, regardless of how faulty and baseless their claims. It goes to show, historically, how much more convincing an argument is when it is in print. If a person just says something, it is percieved as less authoritative than something that is printed, be it on paper or digital. 

Recently, I read an online post about habits of baby-boomers that millennials find annoying and I found it amusing that, being a proud  member of the boomer generation myself, (1945-1965) I discovered my millennial offspring are more guilty of themselves. The list was 15 bullet points long and if anyone bothers to read this post, I wont bore you with all 15, most of which were erroneous anyway, but I want to address a few mentionables.

Things boomers do that millennials find annoying and my rebuttle:

1. Boomers showing up at a home unannounced-

Personally, me and my fellow boomers have always instilled in our kids good manners, good behaviour and how improper it is to arrive at someones house without first calling for approval. My wife and I would never consider arriving somewhere unannounced and we urge our own, now adult kids, "call first before coming over". 

2. Boomers eating at chain restaurants-

What? First of all, there are hundreds of chain restaurants in any relatively small area, so the chances of anyone eating at a chain restaurant, no matter what their generation, is very good. 

Another argument about this laughable argument, is how our own millennial kids eat at chain restaurants several times a week; Olive Garden, Applebees, Chile's and their most frequented chains, pizza and fast food.

Also, our fellow boomers and I know not only how overpriced restaurant food is but also how it includes toxic amounts of salt and artificial flavors that would kill even cockroaches. On the contrary, we love eating at private, family owned restaurants and we activly seek them when the time comes to eat out.

3. Boomers dismissing younger generations-

The very subject of the article was millennials dismissing boomers so claiming the inverse,  boomers dismissing younger people, is self incriminating. 

4. Boomers playing slot machines-

This one is also funny and random for two reasons because 1) not only have I never played slot machines in my life but I've never known anyone who played slot machines.

 2) if boomers playing slot machines is so annoying to millennials, it might be an indication that they, the millenials themselves, are spending inordinate amounts of time in casinos. Maybe they have gamblers anonymous on there contacts list.

5. Boomers think millennials are still children-

Another funny one. I say this because the opposite is true. It isn’t us who think our "kids" are still children, it is they who think they are still children. They love to call us everytime they have a slight problem and they are more than happy to whine to us about every little thing. "Mom, I dont feel good today", or "Dad, could I have some money?" 

The other funny thing about this claim is how they whimper to us about every little problem they have, but when we give them suggestions on how to maybe do things differently the answer is "don't tell me how to live my life" or "stay out of my business".

There are also the times when they rely on us as a sounding board and then blame us for their problems because we were bad parents. It's all so unjustifiably ironic, and also comical but I admit, I love comedy.

6. Boomers complain about neighbors-

This one is also ironic because we are friends with most of our neighbors and rarely take issue with them. Even my elderly mother speaks highly and sweetly about her neighbors. As we age, our generation has learned the value of good neighbors and who knows, we may need them one day and vice-versa.

To the contrary, our kids often tell us about the ongoing Peyton Place (a boomer reference) drama going on between them and their neighbors; young parents vs other young parents pitting their children against each other.

And finally...

7. Boomers make everything political-

Again, I must say, my wife and I know the importance of avoiding certain subjects with our millennial kids, namely politics and religion. I, myself, avoid the subject with anyone, all together. 

Additionally, it is they who broach the political line most of the time and it is they who become quite offended and indignant when we don't subscribe to their political stance.

In summary-

So, as I said earlier, the nature of print tends to convince one of the inerrant qualities of the info it espouses, but its viability is obviously not so.

In support of my fellow baby boomers, we are offspring of The Greatest Generation and our accomplishments are steller. Our generation turned America into a world leader, pioneered the American space program, landed on the moon, ended the cold war, invented the internet and the cell phone, invented the artificial heart, DNA identification, broke the four minute mile, climbed Mount Everest, and too many other things to mention that paved the way for the millennials. 

A Contended Fisherman

 

The Fisherman and the Businessman

A gratified fisherman whose name was Jaime, lived in a modest town on the Baja Peninsula in Mexico, and every morning he would push his small, one-man boat into the calm, Pacific waters, and row a couple of hundred yards into Gonzaga Bay, and using a simple cane pole, would catch a few fish. After a while, happy with his catch, he would calmly row back to shore, stow his boat, and stroll home, humming a simple tune, to share his quarry with his family and he was a very contented man.

One day, a vacationing, successful, American, businessman, walking along the beach, spotted Jaime and interested in him, asked about his routine.

“You know,” said the American, “if you spent a couple of more hours fishing, you could sell your catch to the market.”

“Why do that?” asked Jaime.

“Well, then you would make more money and save up to buy a bigger boat with a net.”

“Then what?”

“Then you could sell more fish to more markets and make lots more money.”

“Then what?”

“Then you could buy more boats", the American continued, "hire more people, catch more fish and start your own cannery.”

“Then what?”

“Then you could export canned fish to markets all over the world including America, Asia, Europe.”

“Then what?”

“Why, then you would be a successful businessman and finally you could sell your cannery for many millions of dollars.”

“Then what?”

“Then you could retire a wealthy man and do whatever you wanted to do”, concluded the American.

“Hmm,” said Jaime while rubbing his unshaven chin in thoughtfulness. 

Finally, he said, “But I’m already doing what I want to do now.” He then gathered his pole and string of fish and began his way home, humming a simple tune because he was a very contented man.

The Reluctant Artist

I often get comments while drawing cartoons at events that go something like, "You have a real gift for drawing" or "I wish I could draw like you, but it has to be a natural talent". 

I always thank them for their kind words but they're very wrong. I'm not gifted nor naturally talented, not by any stretch of the imagination. 

In an unrelated incident...

Ludwig von Beethoven had just finished a performance of one of his own compositions and was surrounded by a crowd of his many admirers. Each person was generous with the outpourings of praise and admiration in the direction of the famous composer. 

One woman gushed "If only God had given me such a gift of genius." to which Beethoven turned an unfriendly look in her direction and said coldly, "It isn't genius, madame. Neither is it magic. You can be as good as I. All you have to do is practice on your piano every day, eight hours a day for forty years."

Mad Magazine was my preferred literature of choice

It may be odd for many people to hear this, but I never had an ambition to be a caricature artist. It has never crossed my mind in all the years prior to finding it to be a profitable venture. At the same time, no one should make the mistake of thinking I didn't like drawing and making my own gags since childhood, but it was somewhat of a personal thing that I kept mostly to myself. 

A hungry Pauper

However, the possibility of drawing caricatures of others, live and in public, with dozens of people watching me do so, was the certainly not on my list of things I wanted to do. Without going too deeply into it, I decided to give it a try only when unemployment compelled me to do so. 

It didn't just come to me, though. It's taken many thousands of tries to get to the point where the public will pay for it. I sometimes tell people after receiving their gracious comments about my "natural gift" that it's no gift. It's lots and lots of practice.

I Must Confess

 I'm a veteran of the U.S. Marines and I'm very proud to have served and honored to have been chosen as a Marine. The times, good and bad, were unforgettable and the victories and failures I experienced were monumental.  I love the men I served with, and we developed bonds that were among the strongest possible.

You can take the man out 

of the Marines but...

Can you take the Marines 

out of the man?

Even after being honorably discharged, I was so attached to those days that they became spectacles through which everything I experienced was filtered. It was as though I was still living as a Marine many years afterwards and I didn't want to betray that perceived loyalty. I thought that by not remembering and honoring my days of service in everything I did as a civilian, I was somehow being disloyal to the U.S. Marines and to the men with whom I served. We kept in touch by social media, and I committed to a reunion I could scarcely afford to attend and was consumed with keeping in good standing with them. 

I ain't alone

Many veterans do so, and it is like being frozen in time and worst of all it's paralyzing to one's mindset as it was to mine. It's as though an anchor and chain were attached to my ankle and has prevented me from making any real progress. It affected my decisions, my opinions, my work, my business, my marriage, my family, my friendships, everything. As I aged and the distance between the present and the past grew, the anchor became bigger and heavier with each passing year. It kept me worse than a failure. 

It kept me mediocre. 

But then, one day recently, I was hit with what seemed like a cold bucket of water when, through a series of revealing circumstances, I realized these men with whom I served, and the U.S. Marines, have nothing to do with me presently. The VA facilities I've been a part of for years are full of men living mediocre lives at best, and some on the verge of suicide because they have chosen to come under the dominion of ghosts from their past. Even though I never saw myself as one of those poor souls, I see now I was one of them, chained to events of long ago that I have allowed to taint everything I came into contact with. 

Where were they?

But now I realize the men I served with didn't go to my wedding, they weren't present at the birth of my children, weren't there to console me when my father died, nor have they been with me at any other time in my life. In fact, they show very little interest in what I do, and I must admit, I feel the same way about them. 

All of me

But there are others in my life now, today, who have been with me through those times, and it is they who deserve to have all of me. They are the ones who want all of me. Those are the ones where my loyalties should lie. 

As I mentioned, my unit has reunions from time to time and for me to attend would be an unjustifiable expense and anyway, all it amounts to is a bunch of us getting drunk and talking about old times. These men I had little in common with then and the same is true now. 

Yes, my time as Marine was truly special and unforgettable, even unmentionable, but it doesn't define me. It's only one ingredient in what makes me who I am and there were many other adventures that also make me who I am, but I am not chained to a single event or time period. Trying to flavor my meal with one ingredient makes for a bad dish.

I have finally broken loose from the anchor and said, 

"Men, I love you and I'll never forget you or those times, but it's long overdue for me to move on." 

Oh, I'll still wear Marine hats and T-shirts with documents, awards and photos on my wall and desk, but no longer will they dominate the space, and they are accompanied by photos and memorabilia of other unforgettable people and events in my life.

"Maybe we'll see each other again in the future, men, but good-bye, for now. "

Spring in Spring

Spring Fling in Spring in the Spring

On Thursday I had a job at Hewlett Packard in Spring Texas for there annual spring fling complete with a live band, games, and plenty of food. I've always said the hardest part of my job is smelling the delicious food catered at these events. I'm always invited to fix a plate for myself but who has time when I have a line of people waiting to get made fun of with pen and ink. 

This was an event for only the employees so there were no kids (and since I'm on the subject), I prefer an all adult clientele. I also find it interesting that the "adults" sometimes act more like children than the real children do. 

For example, I was there with two other artists and, needless to say, we all have different styles of drawing, and some artistic styles, being a subjective endeavor, are preferred by the client. The artist next to me drew more in a portrait style so a lady wanted to be drawn by him and not me, but as circumstances would have it, she ended up sitting in my hot seat, and I must confess, I really let her have it with my exaggerations. 

The styles of different artists are often striking. I mentioned my constituent to my left draws in more of a portrait style, still a caricature, but the exaggerations are mild whereas my style is more bold and I often discover at least two types of customers. One may be the type that is easy going with a healthy sense of humor knowing a caricature is supposed to be funny looking. The other type wants a drawing that makes them look like a cute, Disney-ish, cartoon, which isn't my style. So sorry.

I do drawings on an individual basis and to see more examples or order one of your own click here.

Whats Your Tomato? By Bob Doll

The Dark Side of Sunday Morning

Things losers say

• I hate Mondays.
• It's not my job.
• I'll do it tomorrow.
• It's okay if I'm late.
• I can't afford it.
• It's too hard.
• It's not my fault.
• It's not fair.
• I'm too tired.
• I love weekends.

It may seem strange to think "I love weekends" is something losers say, and seems out of place, but putting emphasis on the weekend, detracts from the other days of the week and is a kind of backdoor way of saying, "I hate Mondays".  Maybe you really do like Saturday, because that's when you get to do things that you don't do any during the week but isn't that true of any day of the week? There are things I do on Wednesday that I would not dare do on Sunday.

"To whom much is given, much is required."

When we receive blessings and responsibilities, we are called to a higher standard of accountability, and accepting responsibility is a blood tenet of people in a position of leadership or influence. The words we use reflect our thoughts and attitudes and I often imagine what the students in my drawing classes would think of me if I told them "Drawing is too hard" or if I told a client of mine "it's okay if I'm late". 

My leaders in the Marines Corps (at least the good ones) drilled into our psyche at every opportunity...

"Your mindset is your greatest weapon".

It didn't matter how well trained we were, how fit, energetic, well fed, or well-armed we were. Winning or losing battles begins and ends between the ears. The same is true no matter what we do, whether we're Marines or not. 

If words are a reflection of our mindset, then it stands to reason that changing our words also changes our minds, then naturally our circumstances change.

• I'll make this a good week.
• How can I do this better?
• It's important to be on time.
• How can I afford this?
• I want to learn how to do this.
• How can I help?
• I'll try again.

I'm Not a Tree

 

Why do I do my own cooking, grind my own coffee beans and bake my own bread? Why do I have a business of my own and write my own books? It has something to do with creating my own environment; one that I can not only have better control of but also one that suits me better than others can. I don’t want to live in someone else’s realm. I want to live in my own.

I was created in God’s image, in his likeness and God is creative and orderly. He has given me the ability to be the same, and it’s already in me, in my possession. I don’t have to ask for it.

When I was young, everything was new to me, and I savored the uniqueness of everything. Life was a learning experience, fresh and original but as I aged, I noticed how new things slowly began to grow further and further apart. I began hearing the same stories repeated like so many re-runs of old TV programs. There's nothing new under the sun and often, I discovered, people tend to repeat common knowledge as if it’s new information.

As time goes by, it’s not unusual for adults to grow complacent and even depressed from being bored from many days being a duplicate of the day before. Being in business for myself allows me to learn new things about earning money I would not have otherwise known. Someone also said, in fact I think it was me, “when I want to read a good book, I’ll write one”, so the same goes for the learning experience of drawing and writing which are never ending learning experiences.

I’ve also been known to say, “my favorite food is my own”. Learning to cook delicious food is also a learning experience as well as the proper grind of coffee beans for certain applications and the different flavors of coffee from around the world.

I make my own bread because not only is it better tasting than the stuff supermarkets and giant bakeries churn out, but also for how therapeutic it can be. It takes patience and experience to learn how to make the perfect loaf of bread. I love making plum pudding and it’s become a Christmas tradition for my family.

Jeffery Gitomer’s book, The Little Red Book of Selling, and in many other books, as well as some of the world’s greatest minds, touts creating an environment conducive to my life’s objectives and intentions. If I don’t like the way things are then I can change it. I can change where I live, who my friends are, my job, my attitude, my philosophy, my health, my relationships. As I age it becomes more important to me.