Get Off My Lawn!

I am more and more convinced, as I read (and as I age) online articles, blogs, social media posts or whatever you want to call them, that these lists and advice the so called authorities post, giving the reader the impression they are experts on certain subjects, are simply wannabes and blowhards trying to impress and get more clicks. For the most part, I must admit, they succeed in that respect, regardless of how faulty and baseless their claims. It goes to show, historically, how much more convincing an argument is when it is in print. If a person just says something, it is percieved as less authoritative than something that is printed, be it on paper or digital. 

Recently, I read an online post about habits of baby-boomers that millennials find annoying and I found it amusing that, being a proud  member of the boomer generation myself, (1945-1965) I discovered my millennial offspring are more guilty of themselves. The list was 15 bullet points long and if anyone bothers to read this post, I wont bore you with all 15, most of which were erroneous anyway, but I want to address a few mentionables.

Things boomers do that millennials find annoying and my rebuttle:

1. Boomers showing up at a home unannounced-

Personally, me and my fellow boomers have always instilled in our kids good manners, good behaviour and how improper it is to arrive at someones house without first calling for approval. My wife and I would never consider arriving somewhere unannounced and we urge our own, now adult kids, "call first before coming over". 

2. Boomers eating at chain restaurants-

What? First of all, there are hundreds of chain restaurants in any relatively small area, so the chances of anyone eating at a chain restaurant, no matter what their generation, is very good. 

Another argument about this laughable argument, is how our own millennial kids eat at chain restaurants several times a week; Olive Garden, Applebees, Chile's and their most frequented chains, pizza and fast food.

Also, our fellow boomers and I know not only how overpriced restaurant food is but also how it includes toxic amounts of salt and artificial flavors that would kill even cockroaches. On the contrary, we love eating at private, family owned restaurants and we activly seek them when the time comes to eat out.

3. Boomers dismissing younger generations-

The very subject of the article was millennials dismissing boomers so claiming the inverse,  boomers dismissing younger people, is self incriminating. 

4. Boomers playing slot machines-

This one is also funny and random for two reasons because 1) not only have I never played slot machines in my life but I've never known anyone who played slot machines.

 2) if boomers playing slot machines is so annoying to millennials, it might be an indication that they, themselves, are spending inordinate amounts of time in casinos. Maybe they have gamblers anonymous on there contacts list.

5. Boomers think millennials are still children-

Another funny one. I say this because the opposite is true. It isn’t us who think our "kids" are still children, it is they who think they are still children. They love to call us everytime they have a slight problem and they are more than happy to whine to us about every little thing. "Mom, I dont feel good today", or "Dad, could I have some money?" 

The other funny thing about this claim is how they whimper to us about every little problem they have, but when we give them suggestions on how to maybe do things differently the answer is "don't tell me how to live my life" or "stay out of my business".

There are also the times when they rely on us as a sounding board and then blame us for their problems because we were bad parents. It's all so unjustifiably ironic, and also comical but I admit, I love comedy.

6. Boomers complain about neighbors-

This one is also ironic because we are friends with most of our neighbors and rarely take issue with them. Even my elderly mother speaks highly and sweetly about her neighbors. As we age, our generation has learned the value of good neighbors and who knows, we may need them one day and vice-versa.

To the contrary, our kids often tell us about the ongoing Peyton Place (a boomer reference) drama going on between them and their neighbors; young parents vs other young parents pitting their children against each other.

And finally...

7. Boomers make everything political-

Again, I must say, my wife and I know the importance of avoiding certain subjects with our millennial kids, namely politics and religion. I, myself, avoid the subject with anyone, all together. 

Additionally, it is they who broach the political line most of the time and it is they who become quite offended and indignant when we don't subscribe to their political stance.

In summary-

So, as I said earlier, the nature of print tends to convince one of the inerrant qualities of the info it espouses, but its viability is obviously not so.

In support of my fellow baby boomers, we are offspring of The Greatest Generation and our accomplishments are steller. Our generation turned America into a world leader, pioneered the American space program, landed on the moon, ended the cold war, invented the internet and the cell phone, invented the artificial heart, DNA identification, broke the four minute mile, climbed Mount Everest, and too many other things to mention that paved the way for the millennials. 

A Contended Fisherman

 

The Fisherman and the Businessman

A gratified fisherman whose name was Jaime, lived in a modest town on the Baja Peninsula in Mexico, and every morning he would push his small, one-man boat into the calm, Pacific waters, and row a couple of hundred yards into Gonzaga Bay, and using a simple cane pole, would catch a few fish. After a while, happy with his catch, he would calmly row back to shore, stow his boat, and stroll home, humming a simple tune, to share his quarry with his family and he was a very contented man.

One day, a vacationing, successful, American, businessman, walking along the beach, spotted Jaime and interested in him, asked about his routine.

“You know,” said the American, “if you spent a couple of more hours fishing, you could sell your catch to the market.”

“Why do that?” asked Jaime.

“Well, then you would make more money and save up to buy a bigger boat with a net.”

“Then what?”

“Then you could sell more fish to more markets and make lots more money.”

“Then what?”

“Then you could buy more boats", the American continued, "hire more people, catch more fish and start your own cannery.”

“Then what?”

“Then you could export canned fish to markets all over the world including America, Asia, Europe.”

“Then what?”

“Why, then you would be a successful businessman and finally you could sell your cannery for many millions of dollars.”

“Then what?”

“Then you could retire a wealthy man and do whatever you wanted to do”, concluded the American.

“Hmm,” said Jaime while rubbing his unshaven chin in thoughtfulness. 

Finally, he said, “But I’m already doing what I want to do now.” He then gathered his pole and string of fish and began his way home, humming a simple tune because he was a very contented man.

The Reluctant Artist

I often get comments while drawing cartoons at events that go something like, "You have a real gift for drawing" or "I wish I could draw like you, but it has to be a natural talent". 

I always thank them for their kind words but they're very wrong. I'm not gifted nor naturally talented, not by any stretch of the imagination. 

In an unrelated incident...

Ludwig von Beethoven had just finished a performance of one of his own compositions and was surrounded by a crowd of his many admirers. Each person was generous with the outpourings of praise and admiration in the direction of the famous composer. 

One woman gushed "If only God had given me such a gift of genius." to which Beethoven turned an unfriendly look in her direction and said coldly, "It isn't genius, madame. Neither is it magic. You can be as good as I. All you have to do is practice on your piano every day, eight hours a day for forty years."

Mad Magazine was my preferred literature of choice

It may be odd for many people to hear this, but I never had an ambition to be a caricature artist. It has never crossed my mind in all the years prior to finding it to be a profitable venture. At the same time, no one should make the mistake of thinking I didn't like drawing and making my own gags since childhood, but it was somewhat of a personal thing that I kept mostly to myself. 

A hungry Pauper

However, the possibility of drawing caricatures of others, live and in public, with dozens of people watching me do so, was the certainly not on my list of things I wanted to do. Without going too deeply into it, I decided to give it a try only when unemployment compelled me to do so. 

It didn't just come to me, though. It's taken many thousands of tries to get to the point where the public will pay for it. I sometimes tell people after receiving their gracious comments about my "natural gift" that it's no gift. It's lots and lots of practice.