Friday, October 31, 2025

I Almost Joined



We landed at the San Diego airport in the middle of the night and went to the designated area reserved for Marine recruits and waited. I was part of a group of about 25 other recruits, still in our civilian attire and we still had our hair.

Eventually a Marine Staff Sergeant, built like he was chiseled as Greek statue, came from out of the dark, accompanied by a slim corporal, walked decidedly over to a waiting podium, and firmly placed paperwork on it.

The corporal said to us, "Form two single file lines in front of the staff sergeant's podium."

We all then groped our way toward the podium, not knowing what was coming next. The square jawed staff Sergeant looked up and said with authority, "When you hear your name you will answer 'here', and from now on, your first and last words will be 'sir'."

He looked at his list and began calling role, "Anderson". We all heard the recruit respond with a low and careless "here", and at that, the staff Sergeant looked up in shock and yelled, "You don't listen well do you! Did I not just say the first and last word out of that filthy suck of yours will be 'sir'!" 

My eyes grew wide.

He continued, "Get the shit out of your ears and listen up! ANDERSON!" This time the recruit answered, with the standard "Sir, here, sir!"

I began some alarming self-talk, saying to myself, "Oh, my god, here I am in the middle of a strange airport in the middle of the night, and this Marine is yelling and cussing at this guy! What have I done? Is it too late to change my mind? Why do I keep doing this to myself?"

Needless to say, it was too late, and it was the first encounter of the adventure of a lifetime. I was to go on to see, and experience amazing things over the next several years. I established bonds with other Marines that still exist today, after all these years. Nothing I do, nothing I say, nothing I think, isn’t somehow tainted with Marine green.

The experience was unique and the only ones who can relate to it are actually not veterans in general, nor even, most of the time, other Marines, but rather the very Marines who actually went through it all alongside me. 

I am rather guarded on the subject because many people often say things like, "I almost joined the Marines" or "My uncle was in the Marines so it's like I was a Marine too." And then there is always the ones who think they understand the life of Marines because, "I read how tough it is, so I understand"

No, they don't understand, and there is no way they could, no matter how many stories they hear from relatives, or videos they watch, or books they read. It's like me trying to understand what it's like to go through childbirth; I can listen to my wife, and other women can tell me what it's like, and I can read about it, or hear about it, but I never gone through it. I can listen politely but understanding what it's like is not within my capabilities.

We had a phrase when I was in, "If you ain't been there, shut the fuck up". This was a simple and frank way of saying if someone hasn't done what they're talking about, then they don't know what they're talking about.  

I can't count the number of times over the years the people who have never been in, ceaselessly blather on to me about what they think they know. Not only do I find them a total bore but it's also highly offensive to me. Who are they to tell me what it's like?

If you're in business for yourself, how often have you heard someone tell you how to run your business, who themselves aren't in business and have never been in business?

"If I was in business", I've heard them say, "I'd run it this way, or that way." When I've heard this phrase over all the years in which I've worked for myself, I would have liked to have answered, "If you ain't been there...." as they proceed to their warehouse job or cubicle, underpaid, underwhelmed, and complaining.

Don't most of us self-employed, instead, just smile politely and say little in response? 






Tuesday, October 14, 2025

Drag me to Hell

 I've come to the unfortunate conclusion that more often than not, people would prefer to make others as unhappy as themself. Misery loves company but it seems that instead of people simply going out and finding others just as miserable as themselves, they would prefer to make the person they are with just as sorrowful. This has very often happened to me.

  • Me: "I love Halloween."
  • Other: "Halloween is satanic and all that candy isn't good for you."

Writing is another thing I like to do, and I'm often seen jotting things down in a notebook I carry with me. "Why do you have to write everything down?" I've been told. "Be like me and just keep it in your head."

Of course, I also draw, and it's common for me to be callously chastised for doing so. Here are a few remarks I've heard over the years:

  • "You shouldn't be drawing. You need to focus on your work, instead!"
  • "Drawing while someone is talking means you're not paying attention."
  • "Quit drawing and get a real job."
  • "Everything you do has drawings all over it."

I've often been derided for various other things like:

  • Reading in general
  • What I read
  • Wanting to be alone
  • Not talking
  • The way I talk
  • The way I open the curtains
  • The way I work
  • The way I walk
Sometimes people tell me that I shouldn't be so happy and remind me why. 
  • "You may feel good now but wait till you get to be my age."
  • "This month may be good but what about next month?"
  • "You may really like apple cider, but all that sugar is going to make you fat."
I know I'm not the only one who goes through this, and I've even discovered it's a condition related to psychological concepts with real names

Misery loves company

There is no explicit technical term for this malady, but this common saying is often used to describe someone who attempts to drag others down into their own unhappiness. Psychologically it can stem from insecurity, jealousy, or a desire for validation. When a person is miserable, they feel less alone or threatened when those around them also feel bad.

Schadenfreude

This impossible-to-pronounce German word means taking pleasure in the misfortune of others. If a person's goal is to actively inflict unhappiness on others simply for their own satisfaction, they are experiencing schadenfreude. It's a key part of toxic and sadistic behavior.

Crab Mentality

This phrase or metaphor describes a way of thinking best described as "If I can't have it neither can you." The name comes from the observation that if you put crabs in a bucket they will easily escape, but any crab that attempts climb out is pulled back down by the others. A person with this mindset will sabotage your happiness or success so you don't see above their own level.

My Own,
Little Ole' Me, Viewpoint

I think the most common reason people are habitually cynical is because of pride. People want to be seen as intelligent, wise, and worldly. Even successful and happier people can be found to be negative toward others because they want to be seen as the person who has the answer. It's the, if it worked this way for me, then it'll work that way for everybody, condition. It's the person who gives unsolicited advice just to be lofty in other's minds.

The best way I found to deal with them is to just let it be, don't argue with them and possibly even confirm it in their own mind, much like in the spirit of Dale Carnegie. But sometimes I'll just tell the other person to "Shut-up!"