Are You Sitting on a Nail?

The hound that was sitting on a nail

There is a story about an old hound dog that sat on the porch all day and periodically would let out a lengthy, mournful howl. This would last all day until one day a neighbor asked the dog's owner why he displayed such peculiar behavior.

"It’s because he's sitting on a nail", said the owner.

"Well," returned the neighbor, "why doesn't he move?"

"Because he's too lazy." Said the owner. "He prefers the pain of the nail to the effort of finding another spot."

Did you ever have one of those conversations?

Not long ago, I was discussing with some friends a phenomenon that involved the improvement of one’s life and why, when someone is given verified information that can improve one’s life, whether it be personal or business, the information isn’t often utilized? It’s as if someone tells you that a large suitcase full of neatly stacked hundred-dollar bills is waiting in a locker at the downtown bus station and it can be yours. You’re handed the key to the locker and told the only condition is you must pick it up today by 4pm because it won’t be there after that time.  

Any reasonable person would drop what he’s doing and retrieve the suitcase, toot-sweet, but so often, excuses are made.

“But the trip downtown at lunchtime is murder.”

“I have a phone conference I can’t miss.”

“Gas is so expensive, and if I go all the way downtown it’ll blow my fuel budget for the week.”

“It’s dangerous at the bus station. What if I’m robbed?”

This story is somewhat of a parable, but like all parables, it is rooted in real conditions. I went away from my conversation with my friends consumed with that question, only I personalized it.

When I’m given good information that will change my life for the better, why don’t I pursue it?

An "ahha" moment

 I thought of very little else for the rest of the day knowing how vexed I was with the very conditions we discussed. Almost immediately, I realized it when, on the way home, I stopped off at the grocery store to get a couple of things and I spent a few extra seconds in the car ensuring I had my wallet because it held my bank card and Kroger card, both of which I use to pay for my things. Suddenly it hit me; I don’t need my wallet at all because I have a digital wallet on my phone and it has the same information as my physical cards, even the Kroger card. So why was it important to me to find my wallet? Really, the only thing my physical wallet is good for is a place to put my driver’s license and what little cash I have. But even after coming to that conclusion, I still took my wallet with me and paid with my physical bank card. Why?

I gotta know

I wanted to know! I was convinced it’s because of real mental conditions. I also wanted to know because, if for no other reason, I, myself, want to change.

I found out that our tendency, everyone included, is to fail to adopt confirmed improvements due to psychological, emotional and mental factors that prioritize immediate comfort over long-term gain. In other words, we don’t want to leave our comfort zone. We’re happy there. We’re familiar with it. It’s predictable. It’s safe.

I discovered there are fancy names for the very conditions I’m addressing:

·         Present Bias

·         Cognitive Dissonance

·         Fear and Identity Protection

·         Learned Helplessness

·         Emotional attachment to habits

·         Misconception of effort

Most of these can be grouped together and explained in the earlier story about the hound dog sitting on a nail; we prefer the pain over the effort and inconvenience to moving to a different part of the porch, even at our own detriment. 

·         We tend to overvalue present comfort and undervalue future change.

·         We tend to ignore evidence to avoid changing our belief system.

·         Deep-seated beliefs are linked to self-identity and social groups.

·         A person may believe they can’t adopt new habits leading to feelings of helplessness. This is also known as learned helplessness and was coined by Martin Seligman.

·         People may stick to false propositions because they’re comfortable or familiar.

·         The immediate cost of change is mentally overshadowed by future gain.

Our brains prefer the path of least resistance. We prefer watching videos to reading books because it’s easier. It’s easier to have a Popeye’s chicken sandwich than cook our own meals. It’s easier to take a nap than go for a walk.

On a deeper, personal level, it was somehow more comfortable for me to pay for groceries with a card, than my phone. In this case the results weren't so consequential, but it is a small example of my unwillingness (at the time) to adopt a new habit because I'm comfortable with the old. I wonder what else I'm undervaluing.