Say it ain't So

There is a well worn mantra going around in many circles that says "fake it till you make it" and there are areas where this behavior can superficially benefit someone.  However for the long term, especially when dealing with a marketable skill or chronic mental state this philosophy can lead to embarrassment, frustration and worse. There is such a thing as self deception and less than honest approaches to ourselves. In some ways it can be related to the Dunning-Kruger affect; a cognitive bias whereby incompetent people don't view themselves as incompetent. A person can, for example, tell himself he is great at drawing when his skills still need to be developed before he can hope to profit from them.

Psychologists stipulate that affirmations are beneficial if the person reciting them is honest and realistic. Someone suffering from depression who constantly repeats to herself how happy she is will actually become more depressed because she reminds herself how unhappy she actually is with each affirmation of happiness. Happy people don't have to tell themselves how happy they are, they're just happy. This lends credence to another mantra: "what you resist will persist"

A Decision to Decide

 Wiggling Not allowed

According to psychologists, there is a condition called decision fatigue that occurs when we constantly weigh the pros and cons of a every decision to be made and even after we make one, we are plagued by self-doubt and second guessing especially if we give ourselves a little "wiggle room".

No Medals for Trying

Nate Lambert always had a problem with his weight and tried everything that was available to lose weight but never succeeded. Finally, one day after a period of research and reflection he made a firm decision to completely eliminate from his diet all forms of refined sugar for the rest of his life. After coming to this decision firmly in his mind and making it his new lifestyle he was able to lose weight and keep it off and is now enjoying a much healthier life and one of higher quality as a result. His final decision to never have refined sugar again was a decision he finalized and was never bothered with temptation or decision fatigue again.

Harvard business professor Clayton Christianson said it's easier to stick to your principles 100% of the time than it is 98% of the time. To be 98% committed means you haven't truly made a decision and thus decision fatigue sets in opening yourself up for failure as it leads to indecision and confusion. A decision you're 100% committed to leads to enhanced self-confidence and progress.

Making a Passion

In Personality Isn't Permanent by Benjamin Hardy, PhD, Dr Hardy writes that one's passion cannot be discovered but must be cultivated and shaped. A person isn't born with a natural passion for a certain vocation or interest. It isn't inherent in people and in order to find it a person must start working and it will be developed. The operative word here is work.

Many have described my love for drawing and cartooning as a "passion" when I don't see it that way because I'm actually not passionate about it at all. If I did what I was passionate about I'd be cooking all the time, which is a pastime I truly love doing. I get excited about it and it brings me peace and joy to get in the kitchen and mindfully make a meal for someone. However I would never consider making it a career or getting a job as a cook. Drawing, however, not being a passion, can be described as my life's purpose. This purpose is constantly evolving to meet specific needs and new avenues of fulfilling that purpose are always being discovered. It's an effective way for me to tell my story or even someone else's story but it is basically a means to an end. The end is to have a life of purpose and significance.

Who's Your Friend?

I recently posted this illustration to social media for followers to see and the feedback was pretty consistent; there are many of us who can't make the claim that we have five close friends. We may have acquaintances or work associates but to call them "close" friends would not be accurate. The claim, however is not toward five close friends but your five closest friends.

Regardless of that, one of my followers presented a keen question; who are my five favorite authors to whom I often refer. Who are among those to whom I look up and invokes within me my behavior as would a friend or mentor? Well, it is an insightful look at a humorous situation. in that case I would say I'm an average of:

1. Zig Ziglar
2. Mark Manson
3. Rich Karlgaard
4. Dr Benjamin Hardy
5. Tracy Doll

What's the focus?

I've been a subscriber to the above philosophy for quite a while but my said belief has recently been challenged. In the course of reading Personality isn't Permanent by Dr. Benjamin Hardy, he professes that it is impossible to proceed without being mindful of the result. He states that to in order to take steps toward a goal one must always envision the goal clearly every step of the way; always having the target in focus.

I believe this to be true. One must have a clear vision of a particular objective in mind then map out the steps necessary to reach it. However in my experience, although it is important to frequently visualize the goal, I find it critical to focus undistracted on the work at hand. If that project is related to achieving the end result then it puts me one step closer to realizing the desired outcome.

Just Start It

With all the summer projects I have going and the new things I'm starting It can be a bit overwhelming if I let it. We're all aware of the Nike axiom "Just Do It" but for me there is a more fitting adage that best addresses my persona which is "just START it". It's no secret that when facing a sizable enterprise most people tend to have difficulty getting started upon considering its complexity; to just do it is an understatement. Just starting it is the best first step then the necessary subsequent tasks will likely become noticeable and in perusing them my skills will improve.

Intruder Alert

If you have ever heard of the imposter syndrome then you know it's a an overwhelming feeling of doubt people sometimes have about the validity of their accomplishments including feelings of being a fraud and it's only a matter of time before being exposed as such. Some of the most famous and successful people known have at one time or another suffered from this.

Personally, I feel I suffer with the imposter syndrome many times and even though I'm often told how talented I am, I give a courteous "thank you" while underneath I think they are only being nice. The fact of the matter is the complimenters are sincere and the root of my negative thoughts come from my feelings of inferiority when I compare myself with the talents of others; common among artists. The best resolution for this (and anything else for that matter) it to accept my work as others do and continue to improve.