I Can't Get No...

The difference between demanding respect and commanding it are stark. When someone demands respect they are simply saying 

"show me respect. 

I demand it. 

I deserve it. 

Do it or else". 

One problem with demanding respect is the respect is a façade, superficial or fake. It's possible to respect someone as a person, whether we know him or her, but we may not give any credence to their values, what they do or what they represent. We're respectful out of courtesy or politeness. 

Many times, the danger of demanding respect means that as soon as the one who is insistent upon having it is out of earshot, the subsequent respect is gone as well.

However when one commands respect it comes from who the person is, what he or she represents, his or her accomplishments or skills. The one who commands it, rarely must ask for it as it is freely bestowed by others. 

The commander is spoken of with respect even when he or she is not around to hear it. 

If I feel I don't get the respect I deserve, then it is incumbent upon me to be the kind of person who is respected whether I ask for it or not. If somehow I feel disrespected, then either the people I'm around aren't my friends, from whom I can never expect anything more or I've not commanded their respect by being a person of  respect.

Anyway, most of the people I speak to about my endeavors are usually thinking about themselves.

 

In the Game

 Lynn Swan, hall of fame receiver for the Pittsburg Steelers, once described football as a game of opportunity. He never knew when the ball was going to be thrown his way and in some games he had no receptions all day. On other occasions he was the player of the game but he never knew when the occasion would present itself so he had to be ready for it on every play.

Now, he was never walking around on the streets, going out for a cup of coffee when suddenly a football rocketed to him from out of nowhere to receive the winning touchdown pass in Super Bowl X. No, Lynn Swan was on the field, in the game, running the plays and he was available by putting himself in a position to score at any time during the game. 

Often times we find ourselves wishing for an opportunity for success and to shine but we are never in the game. We find some kind of dull satisfaction from belonging to ordinary groups or the popular culture that makes excuses for our mediocrity. 

• "It's Monday."
• "It's raining."
• "It's too cold today."
• "I haven't had my coffee, yet."
• "It's too early. Just five more minutes."

To catch touchdowns we have to be in the game.

I Have No Business Being in Business

 I've been self-employed, full-time, since 2011 and part-time even longer. As time has progressed, I've become aware of the supposed qualities of the popular character traits of what a business owner is expected to have. My virtual mentor, Dan Miller, posted on his blog another list of these traits with only slight variations of the others I've seen over the years. 

As I read these lists, I must admit I grew quite discouraged, especially in the early days of my solo ventures, because I recognized I had very few of the "requirements" or character traits of the traditional entrepreneur. Here are just of few from Mr. Millers' list:

• Have a positive outlook
• Enjoy competition
• Plan ahead  
• Have a high level of confidence and belief in my abilities
• Enjoy what I'm doing
• Work long hours
• Support of my spouse

There are more but these are the ones that stand out in my experience because the possession of these traits has come into question over the last 11 years. Of course, everyone's situation is different, but I must say I respectfully take issue with Mr. Miller's list and most of the other lists of character traits I've come across over the years. 

Being the reluctant entrepreneur that I was, I possessed painfully few of these traits. If I had truly believed that the required traits were necessary, then things would have been dreadfully different. I would never have attempted to earn a living on my own, and according to the list I should have never tried. Based on conventional advice, I should have simply given up completely and continued to work low paying, unfulfilling jobs. 

But necessity is the mother of invention as they say, and I started working on my own regardless of what the "experts" said. 

However, as time went on, I've discovered what few people discuss openly or write about in the realm of the self-employed. Even though I was aware of how few qualities I possessed of the traditional business owner, at least in the beginning, I was driven by my need to earn income, pay my bills and eat. These are the qualities that trump the litany of features espoused by conventionality. 

But as time progressed and my business and reputation grew, I became the type of person who possessed many of the qualities listed. The requisite features of a typical business owner, though not initially apparent, developed over my time as a businessman.

So, I venture to say that if one possesses the qualities listed then one will increase one's chances of success from the start but it isn't required. What is required is the unconquerable sense of responsibility and duty that drives a person.

Repotting

 

There is a popular misconception that people start their own business for financial reasons, to get rich, but that is merely one reason, if at all. The reality is that business owners start their own companies for a variety of reasons and what they all have in common is self-control. The entrepreneurs create an environment consistent with their own values, goals and work ethics. 

The vast majority of working people strive to please an employer, a boss or company which so often does not share with their own values or goals and the companies often define for the employees what those traits should be. These contingencies determine their employment or status with that company.  

Many daring individuals, particularly the late bloomers, decide to create a work environment consistent with their own vision. Entrepreneurs choose the products, services, employees and culture they see fit. 

The real benefit of changing from employment to self-employment is that we get to define our own life instead of having someone else define it for us.

 

Start Digging

In the mining industry, a ton of ore produces, on average, only one gram of gold. That seems to me a lot of digging for such a small amount of gold, but the results speak for itself. Miners produce billions of dollars' worth of gold or diamonds, so the reward far outweighs the cost.

Mining is without a doubt hard and expensive work, but apparently it is a small price to pay for the sought after result. 

It is the same for me, is it not? I own acres of property that contains diamonds and gold and some of it is just laying around for me to pick up, which I periodically do, but the real good stuff is buried; I have to dig for it. 

I have the tools. Why don't I start digging? 

 

Archaic

It's raining and quite chilly outside this morning. Although 51degrees isn't cold to some people, it's cold enough for me. The fortunate thing is I'm not outside working in it and as of lately, I've not been required to do so. Not much, anyway.

I can't forget the endless number of days my professions over the years have required me to be out in it from the time I was very young. As a carpenter or grinding metal in my first years of college. The Marines, working offshore, DHW, and more, they all have been outdoor jobs, exposed to the elements, whatever they were. At the time I thought about when, if ever, I would have a vocation that would allow me to be sheltered from the weather, but those days never seemed to come. 

But they have come. Now that I'm safe indoors I am reminded that on all those countless days I was outdoors, experiencing the sunlight, the coolness of the wind blowing through my sweat drenched hair, the fragrance of fresh cut grass, the sound of trees rustling in the wind, the smell of the rain and the bitterness of its cold on my skin. Ironically enough, even though at the time I disliked the physical labor, I never felt so much alive as when I was struggling in that way. When the day was through, I felt a sense of satisfying accomplishment and the hot meal and cleanliness relished after a good shower. I felt it was well deserved and I am a better man because of it.

Maybe that is why, so often, every day in fact, I choose to write with pen and paper. It's the physical act of writing with my hand, holding a pen to paper that brings me satisfaction. The ability to mentally arrange lines of ink on a page in a way that makes sense to whoever reads them or recognizes the artwork is something relegated only to humans. That sensory perception is why I use thick, hardback dictionaries and thesauruses in lieu of smart devises. The mental and physical energy it takes to thumb through the pages to find what I'm looking for is irreplaceable. The feel of the paper in my hand, the weight of the book and the aroma of the old pages is therapeutic. It's un-replicatable. 

It's in every heart of men to seek and discover that for which he is looking. It's a primal urge to actively look for something and work for it rather than have it presented to him effortlessly. To be sure, I use electronic devices but in a fundamental sense, I prefer hardcover and not a day goes by I don't enjoy them.  

A Prophet's Relatives

 I showed my latest drawing to a family member recently with a caption and his response was "oh yes, I've seen that before". 

Another time, a family member bought my first book Shut Up and Draw and promptly handed it over to their two-year-old daughter to use as a coloring book. 

There are other instances. But my point is, within my family I'm not regarded as a learned man or one who puts out things of value.